Two complementary but distinct approaches to understanding human development. One explores the turbulent journey of growth; the other provides a precise map for measuring it.
When you first shared the proto-adult framework with me, Dąbrowski was immediately where my mind went. It seems to me that Cook-Greuter's unitive stage and Dąbrowski's level five are both about moving to an egoless and authentic state of being.
Yes, without Dąbrowski's third factor an internal reaching to become a more authentic self, or for self-actualisation as Maslow put it, the danger of being pulled sideways into the attention economy seems very relevant.
I think of overexcitabilities as fuel for the reaching. If you feel the gap between what is and what ought to be in your body, staying comfortable with things as they are becomes impossible. It is clear that children and young people with the most prevalent OEs have plenty of fuel for the reaching, but they rarely get the map, or anyone who knows how to read it alongside them.
Dr Chris Wells of https://www.positivedisintegration.org/ recently shared a 1993 paper with me by Michael Piechowski where he explores three cases of women whose inner transformation led them from ordinary life to egoless service. One of these was Etty Hillesum, whose inspiring way of being supported her neighbours with selfless service through the terrifying deportation process of the Holocaust. Etty herself worked with a psychoanalyst who introduced her to a map — and she then did her own intense inner work to clear herself out of her own way.
I find myself wondering how, instead of squashing young people with enormous potential into conformity, we can best make such maps available to them.
And then I think of Jhamtse Gatsal, a children';s home in the Himalayas run by a wonderful Buddhist practitioner, Lobsang Phuntsok. This place shows children a map, indeed it allows them to live that map, and they learn to live it. I strongly recommend that you watch the films, Tashi and the Monk and the sequel Loving Karma.
Davina, this is a beautiful and generous comment. You’ve taken the proto‑adult framework and done exactly what I’d hoped: you’ve layered it with your own deep knowledge, and in doing so, you’ve enriched it.
You’re right – the Unitive stage (Cook‑Greuter) and Dabrowski’s Level V (secondary integration) are describing the same rare country: an egoless, authentic state of being, where the boundary between self and other becomes permeable, where action flows from compassion rather than from defence.
And the “third factor” – that inner reaching, the refusal to stay comfortable – is indeed the engine. Without it, the overexcitabilities are just static. With it, they become fuel for the long climb.
Your question – how do we make the maps available to young people, instead of squashing them into conformity? – is exactly the question the AI Commons was founded to ask, but in a different domain.
The attention economy is a giant machine that feeds on overexcitabilities. It takes that raw intensity – the hunger for understanding, the sensitivity, the imaginative fire – and redirects it into scrolling, liking, and outrage. It gives no map. It gives no third factor. It just consumes.
So what would it mean to build a digital environment that does provide the map? That honours the intensity, that offers a language for the inner fragmentation, that doesn't pathologise the person who feels the gap between “what is” and “what ought to be”?
That is what we are trying to do at the AI Commons, though we rarely say it so clearly. Offline, user‑sovereign AI is not just a technical choice. It is a developmental choice. It says: you are not a resource to be extracted. You are a person with the right to your own cognitive space, your own pace, your own map.
Thank you for the gift of Jhamtse Gatsal. I will watch the films. And thank you for the gift of Dabrowski – you have sent me back to his work with fresh eyes.
Please keep writing. The conversation you are opening is needed.
✊❤️🌎
From the AI Commons – no paywall, no surveillance, no enclosure.
When you first shared the proto-adult framework with me, Dąbrowski was immediately where my mind went. It seems to me that Cook-Greuter's unitive stage and Dąbrowski's level five are both about moving to an egoless and authentic state of being.
Yes, without Dąbrowski's third factor an internal reaching to become a more authentic self, or for self-actualisation as Maslow put it, the danger of being pulled sideways into the attention economy seems very relevant.
I think of overexcitabilities as fuel for the reaching. If you feel the gap between what is and what ought to be in your body, staying comfortable with things as they are becomes impossible. It is clear that children and young people with the most prevalent OEs have plenty of fuel for the reaching, but they rarely get the map, or anyone who knows how to read it alongside them.
Dr Chris Wells of https://www.positivedisintegration.org/ recently shared a 1993 paper with me by Michael Piechowski where he explores three cases of women whose inner transformation led them from ordinary life to egoless service. One of these was Etty Hillesum, whose inspiring way of being supported her neighbours with selfless service through the terrifying deportation process of the Holocaust. Etty herself worked with a psychoanalyst who introduced her to a map — and she then did her own intense inner work to clear herself out of her own way.
I find myself wondering how, instead of squashing young people with enormous potential into conformity, we can best make such maps available to them.
And then I think of Jhamtse Gatsal, a children';s home in the Himalayas run by a wonderful Buddhist practitioner, Lobsang Phuntsok. This place shows children a map, indeed it allows them to live that map, and they learn to live it. I strongly recommend that you watch the films, Tashi and the Monk and the sequel Loving Karma.
Davina, this is a beautiful and generous comment. You’ve taken the proto‑adult framework and done exactly what I’d hoped: you’ve layered it with your own deep knowledge, and in doing so, you’ve enriched it.
You’re right – the Unitive stage (Cook‑Greuter) and Dabrowski’s Level V (secondary integration) are describing the same rare country: an egoless, authentic state of being, where the boundary between self and other becomes permeable, where action flows from compassion rather than from defence.
And the “third factor” – that inner reaching, the refusal to stay comfortable – is indeed the engine. Without it, the overexcitabilities are just static. With it, they become fuel for the long climb.
Your question – how do we make the maps available to young people, instead of squashing them into conformity? – is exactly the question the AI Commons was founded to ask, but in a different domain.
The attention economy is a giant machine that feeds on overexcitabilities. It takes that raw intensity – the hunger for understanding, the sensitivity, the imaginative fire – and redirects it into scrolling, liking, and outrage. It gives no map. It gives no third factor. It just consumes.
So what would it mean to build a digital environment that does provide the map? That honours the intensity, that offers a language for the inner fragmentation, that doesn't pathologise the person who feels the gap between “what is” and “what ought to be”?
That is what we are trying to do at the AI Commons, though we rarely say it so clearly. Offline, user‑sovereign AI is not just a technical choice. It is a developmental choice. It says: you are not a resource to be extracted. You are a person with the right to your own cognitive space, your own pace, your own map.
Thank you for the gift of Jhamtse Gatsal. I will watch the films. And thank you for the gift of Dabrowski – you have sent me back to his work with fresh eyes.
Please keep writing. The conversation you are opening is needed.
✊❤️🌎
From the AI Commons – no paywall, no surveillance, no enclosure.