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Davina Robertson's avatar

When you first shared the proto-adult framework with me, Dąbrowski was immediately where my mind went. It seems to me that Cook-Greuter's unitive stage and Dąbrowski's level five are both about moving to an egoless and authentic state of being.

Yes, without Dąbrowski's third factor an internal reaching to become a more authentic self, or for self-actualisation as Maslow put it, the danger of being pulled sideways into the attention economy seems very relevant.

I think of overexcitabilities as fuel for the reaching. If you feel the gap between what is and what ought to be in your body, staying comfortable with things as they are becomes impossible. It is clear that children and young people with the most prevalent OEs have plenty of fuel for the reaching, but they rarely get the map, or anyone who knows how to read it alongside them.

Dr Chris Wells of https://www.positivedisintegration.org/ recently shared a 1993 paper with me by Michael Piechowski where he explores three cases of women whose inner transformation led them from ordinary life to egoless service. One of these was Etty Hillesum, whose inspiring way of being supported her neighbours with selfless service through the terrifying deportation process of the Holocaust. Etty herself worked with a psychoanalyst who introduced her to a map — and she then did her own intense inner work to clear herself out of her own way.

I find myself wondering how, instead of squashing young people with enormous potential into conformity, we can best make such maps available to them.

And then I think of Jhamtse Gatsal, a children';s home in the Himalayas run by a wonderful Buddhist practitioner, Lobsang Phuntsok. This place shows children a map, indeed it allows them to live that map, and they learn to live it. I strongly recommend that you watch the films, Tashi and the Monk and the sequel Loving Karma.

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